A friend of mine died very suddenly this week. He was 37, they suspect a heart attack, which seems very odd. On some level, I hope it was due to a heart defect.
http://oandnfh.funeralplan2.com/obituaries.aspx?turl=http://hosting-24758.tributes.com/obituary/show/William-Anderson-Moore-101204852
I posted about it on my Facebook because I treat it a lot like I treat anything I have access to... it's a way to share myself, my thoughts, my feelings. While I am private about some aspects of my life, most of it I have been very open about all along.
I mused that it was troubling me. Mostly it troubled me because most of the other people in my life who have died... it wasn't a surprise. Theresa Koerbacher down the street? She got cancer as a kid and didn't win. David White? Car accident. My grandmother? She was old as dirt and it was probably for the best. My father? He had COPD and his life quality had severely diminished. Johnny Law? Well, he was a really large guy, we were shocked to find out he just fell down some stairs.
But this? The guy was only a few months older than me. And the thing was, he had such an interesting Facebook. He had taken up photography and his pictures were really good. I mean, I know we all have the amateur professionals in our friend groups, but his subjects and work always kept me interested. And despite all this, in about 2.5 years of being friends on Facebook, it looks like we interacted about twice. And the last time we saw each other was probably when we worked together back in the mid-late 90s.
All this said, I came to look forward to his FB postings because they provided a window into someone else's life. Someone's life that had maybe found a bit of clarity and contentment, even if it maybe wasn't exactly what he wanted. (Then again, how was I to know either way?)
I posted about this and the responses came. And I felt weird because the goal was not to make it about me. I was not looking for sympathy for my feelings. I was looking to connect with people, to interact, to come away with something new. Someone had left my life and it leaves a hole; I wanted to express that and to hear something from somebody else, even if it was just someone they had lost and felt the same way about.
I felt weird about this (the same way I did when I posted about Johnny Law) because I was lamenting more the loss of the person's creative work than the person themselves, being as I wasn't as close to the person as many other people were. It wasn't like a close friend died, it was someone that I actually knew and admired their work, no matter the medium.
So I was frustrated by the "I'm sorry for your loss" responses.
Because one day you're posting pictures of owls (and self-marveling at such) and then a few days later, you're gone.
That's it.
No more pictures of owls. Or dogs. Or sunrises. Or anything else.
http://oandnfh.funeralplan2.com/obituaries.aspx?turl=http://hosting-24758.tributes.com/obituary/show/William-Anderson-Moore-101204852
I posted about it on my Facebook because I treat it a lot like I treat anything I have access to... it's a way to share myself, my thoughts, my feelings. While I am private about some aspects of my life, most of it I have been very open about all along.
I mused that it was troubling me. Mostly it troubled me because most of the other people in my life who have died... it wasn't a surprise. Theresa Koerbacher down the street? She got cancer as a kid and didn't win. David White? Car accident. My grandmother? She was old as dirt and it was probably for the best. My father? He had COPD and his life quality had severely diminished. Johnny Law? Well, he was a really large guy, we were shocked to find out he just fell down some stairs.
But this? The guy was only a few months older than me. And the thing was, he had such an interesting Facebook. He had taken up photography and his pictures were really good. I mean, I know we all have the amateur professionals in our friend groups, but his subjects and work always kept me interested. And despite all this, in about 2.5 years of being friends on Facebook, it looks like we interacted about twice. And the last time we saw each other was probably when we worked together back in the mid-late 90s.
All this said, I came to look forward to his FB postings because they provided a window into someone else's life. Someone's life that had maybe found a bit of clarity and contentment, even if it maybe wasn't exactly what he wanted. (Then again, how was I to know either way?)
I posted about this and the responses came. And I felt weird because the goal was not to make it about me. I was not looking for sympathy for my feelings. I was looking to connect with people, to interact, to come away with something new. Someone had left my life and it leaves a hole; I wanted to express that and to hear something from somebody else, even if it was just someone they had lost and felt the same way about.
I felt weird about this (the same way I did when I posted about Johnny Law) because I was lamenting more the loss of the person's creative work than the person themselves, being as I wasn't as close to the person as many other people were. It wasn't like a close friend died, it was someone that I actually knew and admired their work, no matter the medium.
So I was frustrated by the "I'm sorry for your loss" responses.
Because one day you're posting pictures of owls (and self-marveling at such) and then a few days later, you're gone.
That's it.
No more pictures of owls. Or dogs. Or sunrises. Or anything else.
